Lonely is a lonely kind of word. Alone is a word that stands by its self. I love being alone. I hate being lonely.

Wishes vs. Wants. I often get them mixed up. I wish for love. I want sex. I wish for beauty. I want adventure. I wish for you. I want you.

I am a lie. I am a fake. I love him. He loves her. She loved me. I hated her. I miss her. I have a wish. I wish for him. I want her. I want sex. She wants love.

You are the reminder. The constant stares. The constant flirtation. You are the winner.

With each potential lost This world stays lost Is it possible that the potential that belongs to this soul can be enough to find the world and bring it back?

The world is filled with thousands of souls. Each one with the stamina to create a different world. A better world. Though, the potential gets often lost.

Shadow

I look around and I see so much confidence in everyone.
Envy sinks in and it's wishful thinking that I could do that.
I could have all the confidence in the world, and not have the worry that takes hold of this dark soul.
I think about the days for you to come in and make this soul brighter,
but quickly that thought goes away.
So many contemplating thoughts are thrown away always.
A part of me wants the change you can provide for me.
Another part wants to stay in this shadow
forever and forever.

Peter Pan

Peter Pan.
I remember watching the play starring Mary Martin as Peter Pan when I was a just little tyke.
Every day, while eating SpaghettiOs, and with my soft yellow blanky,
Anita always popped in either the 1955 disney film of Peter Pan, or the later one which was taped with a live audience I believe in 1960.
Anita.
An older lady.
Her skin always soften as years had passed her.
She was never just a babysitter to me.
She was Anita.
Anita was there when I came home from school.
Anita was there every day I didn't want to go to school.
Anita was there when I was sick.
Peter Pan.
I sit and watch the latest Peter Pan film, and the excitement isn't the same.
Where are my spaghettiOs?
Where is my yellow blanky?
Where is Anita?

Drug

You entered my mind tonight.
You shouldn't have done that, for I was doing just fine without.
The unknowing faces with wondrous eyes, and the uncomfortable silence is so deafening.
You're making me look crazy.
Even though, I have missed you oh so dearly.
Maybe it's time you stay away for good.
The corruption of you is needed to be bigger and bigger.
I'm afraid the price I have to pay for you is lost.
Please, you need to leave and to never come back.
As I write this, the eyes are becoming wet and in an instant the changing of my mind begins.

We will meet again tomorrow.

Loneliness

He looks at me like I am the prettiest girl in the world.
He treats me like I am important to him.
He says he loves me.
The disappointment of being loved only with friendship consumes me.
He loves her.
He wishes for her to be with him forever.
I am cast into the shadows of his forgetfulness.
Just a friend is what I'll always be.
My quirkiness, my beauty, my warmth isn't enough for him.
Her normalcy is what is perfect for his ignorance.
Just a friend is what I'll always be.
It's called Loneliness.